The case of the fortuitous leak

In a few short days, the stars in the sky will be familiar again.  The voices from the mouths of those around me will be like mine.  The sights and smells will be foreign to my daughter and yet they are a part of her homeland.  Yes, the water will drain in the opposite direction again. And while I will miss Australia terribly, I will truly be home. I love America. With all of her faults she's still a grand ol' lady and I'm keen to try to be one of the positive voices to remind people how good we have it and how much we can help others.

I'm tearing up just thinking of the first "steps" my child will take at LAX on American soil. I know exactly the moment I'm looking forward to.  There is a sign above where you enter the United States with a picture of President Obama welcoming visitors and saying welcome home to us Americans. Let me tell you folks, regardless of your politics, that is a beautiful sign.

President Obama was here last weekend for the G20 and seeing him speak to the University of Queensland and to the Australian people filled me with such pride.  I was proud to call him my President.  It's a funny thing, most of the people that I run into here love him.  They don't understand why so many Americans are so upset and why he has a low approval rating. Then again, I don't understand why they elected Tony Abbott.  It is what it is.

I'm not going to make this post political.  Just so far as to say that I believe we have it good; period.

I was looking back at my posts over these past couple years and found it so amazing that so much can happen in such a short period of time.  In some ways, I feel as if it flew by.  Yet in others it has drug out longer than the waiting line at the DMV.

I am basically just a huge ball of feels right now.  I had a little break down last week when everything came to a head.  Moving with a child internationally is a grand adventure.  Sometimes the adventure takes you to a dark cave where you just have to curl yourself up into a ball and cry.  My cave is my shower.  Thankfully, Sean made it back from New Zealand and gave me a little time to go to my cave.  Then, the next day, there was a leak in our room.  I called up maintenance and about 5 hours later we were moved into a new room WITH THE MOST AMAZING VIEW!! We just sit outside in our solarium at night and watch the world go by like VIP's.

I've started calling it the "case of the fortuitous leak".  I was seriously almost at my breaking point and then boom, a light appears.  God works in mysterious ways.

Now I have my mojo back and we are in fighting shape ready to take on this epic first plane ride with a renewed vengeance!  Look out America, here we come!

I'm not normal. And that's so normal.

There are a lot of things to be learned when moving overseas.  The most interesting part for me is not that I learned a lot of things about Australia but more what I learned about myself.  I'm not quite sure why I didn't expect this.  On paper it makes total sense.  You will take everything you know and pack it away in a box to keep in your attic.  You think that when you get back it will be the same stuff that you left.  And while it may be the same salad bowl, the way you look at it is somehow different. So weird and yet absolutely life-changing.  I can't go back.  The damage or progress, depending on how you look at it, is done.

I've never really spent much time in thought on the concept of normal.  Everyone always tries so hard to fit in and be normal.  But the minute you step out of your nationalistic culture bubble, your concept of "normal" changes.  Those of us that grow up in Western culture have certain expectations of normal.  For example, in America, we smile and say hello as a stranger enters an elevator.  In fact, we think it's normal when you smile.  In some cultures it is rude.  Does that make it wrong? Nope.  Just different.   We have become used to the fact that the majority of Asians in our building never make eye contact and do not want to have a chit-chat with you.  This was a hard fact to get over coming from our overly-jovial American society.  Yet, we still usually try to say hello.  They rarely have any response. Does this mean they are not friendly? Not at all. They just act differently in lifts.

Sydney is such an international city that we meet a wide range of cultures on a daily basis and the one thing it has taught me is that all people are human.  We are all differently the same.  Hopefully, it's given me a greater empathy towards people with ideals I don't fully understand.  Instead of automatically fearing what you don't know, try to find the commonality you share.

I don't fear Muslims. I think the idea of coexisting in peace is coming to the reality that in order to live with other cultures you must accept that we may look at things differently.  We may believe in different things but we need to strive to see how others may interpret things.  It's not being politically correct, it's being humanly sensitive.

As a Christian, it all comes back to something that Jesus taught; do unto others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31).  The Golden Rule. Guess what?  This concept is spread across almost all religions.  It traces its roots to Confucianism.  Treat others like you wish to be treated. Reciprocity; it seems like such a simple concept. It is part of the reason I love Jesus and his teachings.  You can't just pick and choose when you want to employ this concept. It must be in and of all things.

As far as being normal goes I think the key is to be yourself.  Whatever that entails. As long as you can find a way to be comfortable in your own skin you are "normal" on any continent. Embrace it!

Okay, enough preaching.  Time to get out and enjoy this 90 degree weather before we head back to the icebox that is North America! Here's a panoramic picture of the view from where we are staying to warm you up.

Gotta Get Back, do, I do

In an effort to try to remain positive I'm going to spin this next blog into, "Stuff I'm looking forward to," Rather than "Things I won't miss about Australia."  Here it is, ta da!

1. Prices:  If I ever complain about what anything, I mean anything, costs in the United States I hereby grant you permission to slap me in the face.  You may refer back to this statement as proof. 
   
2. Selection:  This can go both ways. While I'm excited to have the endless choices we are afforded in America, from anything such as bread to running shoes to toothpaste, I would be lying if I told you I didn't look at it differently than when I left.  We have too much selection.  I fear it has created a society of people who think that it's their right to have such a selection and complain when they don't. This could spin me on an entirely new post entitled,  rights vs. privileges, why is this so hard to understand?  But, I will save you the rhetoric.  A lot of Americans have turned into whiny, privileged, self-aggrandized brats. Believe me, it's not a great look from the outside. I strive to not let myself become a part of that culture. 
   
3. Sunflower Seeds:  I am grateful to my wonderful friends and family who have kept me in supply with my beloved David Sunflower Seeds while I was here.  Either by airplane or mail, I've had a lot of seeds for a country with none in sight. But, I'm so excited to be able to get in a car and drive to the local store to get them. Seriously, it's embarrassing how excited I am about this. 

   

   Soon, my love, soon.

4. Family (this includes Zoe and Zoom Zoom): This is the number one reason why we aren't staying here for good.  I feel like if we even had one, second cousin, twice-removed, we might entertain the thought. But alas, we do not. My mother is rejoicing. Plus, we really miss our dogs. My daughter and I sit at the park and watch the dogs play.  It's a sad sight and maybe a little creepy. Soon, they will be our dogs we will be watching! 
5. Watching American sports at normal times: I will enjoy not having to wake up at 3am to watch the Tennessee Titans play their fascinating brand of football. Fairly sure that is a form of torture in some cultures, especially the watching the Titans part. 

   

   Actual picture of me watching the Titans.  Really?  Not really.

6. Food:  Weird that this is on both lists, eh?  As much as I love having independent, local shops and restaurants everywhere, there are a few foods from Nashville I've truly been missing.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  But, I'm also looking forward to knowing exactly what stuff is going to taste like.  For some reason, companies here have bought licensing for American products but not the recipes.  That means that I get super excited when I see a product from home only to eat it and be horribly disappointed that it almost tastes like what I remember. It is a very frustrating phenomenon.  

   

   Don't be fooled. These are "Australian" Doritos. 

15 Things I Will Miss About Australia

Well, time has a way of getting away from you.  I took a little break from writing during my pregnancy and just looked up to realize it's been 8 months since I posted anything. Oops!

For those of you that actually follow this blog (thanks Mom) I will attempt to make up for my absence in the next couple of weeks.

First up is 15 THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT AUSTRALIA.  Yes, I just said that I am trying to make up for not writing by giving you a list.  Hey, can you blame me? This writing business is hard yakka!

Coley's "15 Things I Will Miss About Australia":
(not all-inclusive and in no particular order...except for number one)

1. Tim Tams
2. Ginger Beer
3. Carrie Bickmore
4. Rainbow Lorikeets, Cockatoos, Ibis, Parrots, Flying Foxes, actually all Australian birds (even you crazy backwards-speaking Twin Peaks birds). Except for the ones that dive bomb you if you get too close to their nest which they have so elegantly placed above the sidewalk on the way to the bus stop.  Yes, I've actually been hit in the head by a bird. Twice. In the first instance an older lady at the bus stop saw it and told me I should maybe start wearing a helmet. Yes, that's how this situation should be fixed. Thank you for your input.
5. Coffee. Seriously, at least in Melbourne and Sydney, you are never 1km away from a really good cuppa. I fear I have become a coffee snob. Say it ain't so. Damn you, Australia! I'd better still enjoy my 3am-after-gig coffee at Waffle House! 
6. Australian National Anthem.  I actually love this song.  They use the word "girt" and get away with it. Bloody fantastic! Advance Australia fair.
7. Rocket.  It's what they call Arugula.  Or is it what I call Arugula? Yes. 
8. Beets on everything.  My Grandma Flo would be so proud of how many beetroots I've eaten. 
9. Food in general.  We eat way less processed foods and are going to try to continue it when we get back to the States.



I will miss you Kevin Bacon, the pig. 

10. Everything is a question but it rarely needs to be answered.  I am so meta deep right now most of you probably won't even understand my previous statement. Strewth.
11. Bogans. What am I talking about?  We've got good ol' rednecks!  



I'm gettin' a Southern Cross tattoo next, bro!

12. Weather.  One of the benefits of Sydney is that we have what we like to call "Simpsons" skies.  Blue skies with fluffy white clouds where when you look up you can hear the opening of the theme  ♫ The Simpsons ♫ . That is if there are any clouds at all. Blue skies as far as you can see. 
13. Sunsets.  I love a good EO sunset.  That's Eastern Oregon for those of you that aren't as cool as me.  But, living on the 9th floor of a west facing apartment means we get to see incredible red-tinted sunsets every night.  Every single night!  These are actual shots from our balcony.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
14. Sydney Harbour. It's a real life postcard every way you look. 
15. Accents and phrases.  Even though my husband and I like to make fun of the words and phrases we hear on a daily basis I have a feeling this will be one thing I will truly miss.  Let's give you a list within a list of some of my favorite sayings. See if you can figure out what they mean. 

• What's the John Dory?
• Howya travellin'?
• How's it? or How's it goin'?
• Yeah, no. (Both Sean and I use this now. It's insidious.)
• Sweet as. Easy as. Hard as. "Anything" as.  (We actually use this too. It's fun. Try it!)
• Fair dinkum
• Strewth
• Good on ya
• Mad as a cut snake
• Busier than a blue arsed fly
• He spit the dummy
• Pissed as a fart
• Whaddaya reckon?
• You beauty! 

     16.  New Zealand

Just Add Snow!

It's Olympics time again! Hooray!

I am a total sports nerd as many of you know and I absolutely love the Winter Olympics.  I always had this secret dream of becoming a world-class luge star but alas, Vale had no luge course.  Yep, that's definitely the only reason I am not a luger.  I coulda been a contender!

Anyway, I'm very anxious to see what it's like watching the event from a different country's perspective.  This is Channel 10's ad that has been running non-stop for the past two months. I must say that it's rather inspiring.  I know all of the words to the National Anthem now so I'm ready if they win gold.

I'm curious to see what Opening Ceremonies will be like without Bob Costas telling me what I'm supposed to be thinking and feeling at any given moment.  What will it be like without an American slant?  Do the Australians just stop showing the other countries the second they walk in or do they air the entire broadcast?

I will tell you one thing.  Americans missed out on the London Olympics coverage.  If you ask any random person throughout the world what they thought of London 2012 I think the average response would be something like, "London was great, wasn't it? My favorite was the Paralympic games though.  Man, that was fantastic."  Wait a minute, the Paralympic games?  I vaguely remember NBC advertising a recap of those or did I imagine that?  Hold on, you mean to tell me that they broadcast the Paralympic games?  Yes.  And apparently they were almost better received than the regular games.

Hopefully, at some point NBC and Universal Sports will see fit to allow us to see these inspirational games for ourselves one day.  What a concept.   Jacqueline Freney, from Australia, won 8 gold medals at the London Paralympics and was just awarded the Young Australian of the Year.  She says that she just feels normal in the water.  C'mon NBC, don't rob young kids from seeing role models like this.  Heck, don't rob me!   Put emphasis on these games too.

Extreme Makeover: Baby Edition

Wow! Haven't written anything in a really long time.  Sorry about that.  Lots of things happening though.  First and foremost, we are having a baby!  In Australia, they say that I have "fallen pregnant".  Every time I hear this I feel as if I've either contracted some kind of disease that results in me procreating in 9 months or I picture myself falling in an old 80's Life Alert commercial where I can't help myself.  "Help me, I've fallen...and now I'm pregnant."  But, that's what they say so I just go with it and smile.

So, now that I've fallen pregnant I find myself overwhelmed by the choices one has to make during the process.  What stroller?  Do we get a car seat?  What kind? What color?  Are you going to use a pacifier?  Will you lose your mind before or after the baby gets here?  It's kind of maddening.  But here it's also fun because I get to learn yet another entire vocabulary for baby stuff.  Here are a few examples of the Australian/British word and its American equivalent.  They're fair dinkum, waddayareckon?!

• Pram = Stroller
• Dummie = Pacifier
• Car Capsule = Baby Car Seat
• Nappy = Diaper
• Up the Duff = Pregnant
• Bunny Rug = Blanket
• "You want to nurse the baby?" =  "You want to hold the baby?"  
• Mum = Mom,  typically you see/hear "mum and bub" for "mother and baby"

• Terms for a baby/child =  Ankle biter, Bub, Billy lid, Carpet Grub, Kiddiewink, Happy Lil' Vegemite, Nipper, Rugrat, Whippersnipper, Littlie, Sprog, Little bugger

Oh, and the best thing ever, they have paid parental leave here for both parents.  Apparently the United States is the only industrialized nation to not mandate paid leave for mothers of newborns.  Here's a graphic from the Huffington Post so you can visualize our shame.  Cheers!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/04/maternity-leave-paid-parental-leave-_n_2617284.html

You say potato and I say starchy tuberous crop

I'm currently in rehearsals to sing in the performance of Handel's Messiah at the Opera House in Sydney.  I wasn't quite sure how things were going to go but I definitely wasn't expecting what I've experienced so far.  First of all, for some reason I was shocked at how good we were at the first rehearsal.  Most of these ladies have sung here in Sydney for years so I guess they are prepared.  Way to go ladies.  Get your tickets now!

Then the conductor started saying, "crotch-it" and "dotted crotch-it" and "quaver".  At least that's what I heard.  What?  Okay, I just kinda went along with it and focused on the music.  But last week I couldn't take it anymore.  They are definitely saying, "crotch-it" repeatedly.  What is going on?  Thank goodness for Google because I felt stupid to ask as I seemed to be the only one that wasn't in on the joke. It has dropped me down a rabbit hole and led me, (finally!) to one of the only things that Americans do that is more logical than our European counterparts.

In America, we name musical notes in relation to the mathematical equivalent of the time signature. Stay with me non-musical folks and I'll try to break it down for you.  For example,  in a song that is 4/4, that means there are four beats to a measure.  This is what splits everything up and makes it easier to read and play.  This is when you hear people counting; 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4.   If a note fills all four beats it is called a 'whole' note.  2 beats is a 'half' note, 1 beat is a 'quarter' note and so on and so forth.  Likewise, if you want to display a rest, an absence of sound, it is measured accordingly and referred to as a quarter rest or an eighth rest, etc.   Music is math.  It makes sense to break it down and call it by the math equivalent. (Notice I am not pluralizing math into maths.  I find that maddening for some reason.  It's an abbreviation.)

But what do the British and therefore all of their Commonwealth states call them?  Hmmm, well, apparently they have a different name for each and every note and for the life of me I can't figure out why.

Here is a table to show the differences: (please note that each term is for notes and rests)

AMERICAN TERM	BRITISH/AUSTRALIAN TERM
Octuple Whole Note/Rest	Maxima
Quadruple Whole Note	Longa
Double Whole Note	Breve
Whole Note	Semibreve
Half Note	Minim
Quarter Note	Crotchet
Eighth Note	Quaver
Sixteenth Note	Semiquaver
Thirty-second Note	Demisemiquaver
Sixty-fourth Note	Hemidemisemiquaver
Hundred Twenty-eighth Note	Quasihemidemisemiquaver or Semihemidemisemiquaver
Two Hundred Fifty-Sixth Note	Demisemihemidemisemiquaver

Okay, wow is all I have to say.  I have to learn an entirely new language to understand what's going on in rehearsals. That was unexpected!  Luckily, I basically already know what's going on so I just smile and nod and focus like all get out.  I vaguely remember seeing a chapter or two on this in one of my music books at some point.  But it's already hard enough trying to decipher the accent, which by the way varies from British to Australian week to week according to who is conducting us. When people start throwing around "crotch-its" left and right it's hard not to laugh.  Because it gets even better.  You see they call it a crotchet because most of these terms come from the English renaissance and they thought that a quarter note looked like it had a hook.  So naturally they took a French word, crochet, and pronounced it "crotch-it".  Another wow.  

I find this entire thing fascinating and have my mind blown every week now.  Can't wait to see what I learn in rehearsal tonight!  

Completely random post alert!

Things I think are cool about 'Stralia:

• Itemized tax receipts:  If you exchange money with any person or entity there is usually some kind of receipt involved in the transaction.  You can see where your money went and keep it in your records.  One solid thing the Tony Abbott government has brought forward is the issuing of tax receipts.  They will show what you paid and where it went.  Talk about accountability.  USA, take note please.  Now, this hasn't actually been put in practice yet so we haven't seen if it will actually work.  I love the idea though. Plus, the Treasurer's name is Joe Hockey.  Cool name.  Read an article about it here.  

• No pennies:  Yes, there are still things that cost $19.99 but you end up rounding up or down accordingly.  It's really not that big of a deal.  Australia pulled one and two-cent coins from circulation in 1994.  Some of them were melted down to be used in the bronze medals at the 2000 Sydney Olympics.  Still worried about store owners losing money if we eliminate the penny?  Click here to read the results of the effects on Australia by the University of Melbourne.  Basically, you end up breaking even and saving the government money by not producing the coins.  Currently, the U.S. cent costs approximately 2.14 cents to make. While this ends up going down the more the coin is circulated (cause of math and stuff) it still seems like a waste.  Sorry, President Lincoln, at least your face is on the fiver.  Common sense - 1  Penny - 0

You could argue that this is the only Penny we really need, America.

• Opera House:  Picture Sydney in your mind.  You are most likely picturing the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge.  It was even in Finding Nemo for pete's sake.  The icon is celebrating it's 40-year anniversary this year.  40 years. That's it.  Paris; you think Eiffel Tower.  London; Big Ben.  A great city needs a great icon and the Opera House and its crazy architecture seem to fit Sydney perfectly.  I'm so excited to be able to sing there in December.  Stay tuned for some behind the scenes stories.  

• Carrie Bickmore:  I firmly believe that if she cared about conquering the media world, she could.  But, it seems like she is more interested in caring for and providing for her child these days.  Especially after losing her husband to brain cancer a couple of years ago. This is why I love her.  She is one of the hosts of my favorite news show, The Project.  She's been nominated for the Gold Logie the past two years.  The Logies are basically like the Australian version of the Emmy's and the Gold Logie is the Australian Entertainer of the Year.  I guarantee you she will win this one day.  There is just something about her that makes you wish she was your friend.  Being genuine is a hard thing to express through the TV but she's fantastic.  I dare you to not like her. 

Things that totally annoy me to no end:

• TV show teasers:  Obviously this one is for the folks that actually watch TV. Which, in this country, is not a lot.  Just over 23 million people and if you have a program that gets 1 million viewers you are doing well.  Honestly, more people downloaded a pirated copy of the final episode of Breaking Bad.  They actually have a big problem.  Since they can't air shows from America fast enough (their "fast-tracked from the US" usually means at least a week later) they can't keep up with illegal downloading.  People want to watch their favorite shows as soon as they can.  I fall into this category but I have the advantage of having a US address and I use a VPN to watch all of my shows the day after they air on Hulu and Netflix.  Australians just illegally download them. 

For example, a recent episode of Modern Family aired on Channel 10 to 568,000 viewers but it was downloaded approximately 1.75 million times. Hannibal was downloaded 2.1 million times but aired on Channel 7 to only 190,000.   How I Met Your Mother was downloaded 2.85 million times and aired to about 500,000.  The seriously big one is Game of Thrones.  Downloaded 5.2 million times and aired on Foxtel (not free tv) to 224,000 people.  This must drive the channel execs crazy!  I think they take it out on us through their preview advertisements.  Ziva has almost died or left every episode of NCIS so many times that when it actually was the episode she left they played it down.  They would feature her in ads about episodes that weren't even about her.  You see, I'd already seen the episode and I watch the ads with my mouth open saying to Sean, "it's like I haven't even seen it.  I have no idea what they are talking about."  At first,  I would talk back to the TV, "what are you talking about? Ziva isn't even in that episode."  But now I just kinda laugh and go with it.  

Update:  I was apparently wrong about how behind the shows are being run.  It is finally Ziva's last episode this week and that is all they say on the ad, "Prepare for Ziva's Farewell" in big, echo voice.  I don't know what they will do since I just saw a huge billboard for NCIS with Ziva standing in front of Gibbs.  They really love Ziva...

But, bad preview ads are not exclusive to American shows.   Channel 10 caught flak over one of the most popular Australian TV shows, Offspring.  The writers were upset when they revealed in the ad that someone would be dying.  It was a huge deal and was supposed to come as a complete surprise.  But, Channel 10 took the surprise away by giving you three people that might die.  Who could it be?  I actually like this show and it made me mad.  I've only been watching for one season.  Patrick died.  They killed off Patrick?!! Can you imagine how shocking it would be if they didn't tell us somebody was going to die?   I now use it as a verb for when something happens unexpectedly to a main character.  He got "Patricked".  So far no one knows what I'm talking about and that's usually how I like it.  Inside jokes. I loves 'em. 

Seriously, Channel 10?  You should be "Patricked" for this. Patrick is on the right btw.

• Vision:  Speaking of TV they call any kind of video, "vision".  So the above YouTube clips? Yep, vision of Carrie Bickmore.  Not sure why I find this so weird but I do.  It's a video.  Why change the name?  

Safety Old School by Air New Zealand

Oh, how I love New Zealand.  Check out the new safety video by Air New Zealand!  If you click on their website here,  you can enter to win a trip to Queenstown, New Zealand.  Enjoy.

Sail away with me to another world.

I've been struggling as to what I should be writing about this week.  Apparently, I've hit the point in our little two-year adventure where I'm becoming more acclimatized to my surroundings.  I looked it up and it's an actual thing.  Dr. Deborah Swallow, who according to her website is the "Leading Authority On Intercultural Communication", states there are 5 stages of culture shock when moving to a new place.

• Step One:  Honeymoon Stage  You feel excited, stimulated and curious. You still feel close to everything familiar back home.
• Step Two:  The Distress Stage  Everything you are experiencing is no longer new and it has now started depressing you.  You feel confused, isolated or inadequate when you realize that your family and friends are not easily accessible.
• Step Three:  Re-Integration Stage  You dislike the culture, language, food and reject it as inferior.  You may develop prejudices towards the new culture.  You are angry, frustrated and even hostile to those around you.
• Step Four:  Autonomy Stage  First stage of acceptance.  You start to accept the differences and feel like you can begin to live with them.  You are more confident and no longer feel isolated.
• Step Five:  Independence Stage  You are finally yourself again.  Things start to become enjoyable and you feel confident and comfortable to make decisions based on your own preferences and values.  You feel at home.

I think I've finally made it to step four and am moving towards step five.  Based on my experience, I've had every feeling discussed in the above stages.  I've yelled, "how stupid is this stupid country"with more colorful language mind you, many a times.  I've cried in the shower and thought, "what in the world are we doing here?"  I've longed for food that I don't think I even really liked when I was in the States; Cool Ranch Doritos, anyone?  Through this long, hard, drawn out process, I think I've discovered more about myself I never knew.  That is why we travel, right?  It's not to necessarily learn about other places and cultures. It's to learn about ourselves as we see through someone else's eyes.  The really crazy thing is I'm going to have to go through this entire process again when we go back because apparently America, my home, will actually cause culture shock.  I already experienced this a little when seeing the bread aisle in Walmart literally stopped me in my tracks.  Who could possibly eat that much bread?

Honestly, when I see something I find strange now I struggle to figure out if it's because it's "Aussie" strange or just plain odd.   I no longer pay attention to strange spellings.  I've found myself saying things like "it ticks all the boxes" and "have a go" and using words like cracker and ripper to explain really cool stuff.  I do not have an Aussie accent of any kind and it basically takes one word out of my mouth for people to ask, "American?"   Yes, I'm American.

I now have standard responses to this typical interaction I have on a daily basis. It usually goes something like this.

Me:  Hello.
Random Stranger Guy:  G'day!  Are you from America?
Me:  Yes.
Guy:  Ah, I could tell you see. Your accent. Whereabouts?
Me:  Tennessee.
Guy:  Oh, is that near Texas?  (or they like to tell you where they've been for example: My family went to Disneyland a while back.  It was fun.)
Me:  No, not really.  I'm originally from Oregon.  That's north of California.
Guy:  Oh yeah, it's pretty there, eh?
Me:  Yes. Very.
Guy:  Do you love it here? (Aussies love that you love Australia)
Me:  Yes, but I miss my dogs.
Guy:  Don't they have dogs here?
Me: (I just usually smile and nod at this point)
Guy:  (Laughing) Oh well.  What's going on with your government?

At this point I've usually tried to end my transaction or I pray that my bus comes, etc. It's just funny that I have this conversation over and over and over.  Oh well, in Australia the only thing worse than being laughed at is not being laughed at.

I guess that's what we would do in the States if you meet someone from another country.  I just never knew how tiring it could become.  I have quite a few acquaintances here but not any real friends. I think Aussies like to reserve judgment on making you a mate because that means it's for life.  You don't just make anyone your mate.  It takes time.  We only have two years so basically this means that just as I'm being allowed to be "mates" with people, we will be leaving.  I must say that this is quite difficult at times.  I really don't know how I would be doing if I didn't have the Internet and Facetime.
I saw this new video for the Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton duet and it actually made me cry.  I'm such a crybaby.

But I think it forces you to adapt to your surroundings.  I know there are already things I will miss when we leave like Tim Tams and Ginger Beer.  But I've really become quite fond of the laid back attitude towards things that the Aussies pride themselves on.  As Americans we tend to be so uptight.  What are swear words, really?  Aren't we the ones that give them power?  I actually hear less people swearing on a daily basis and yet, if you turn on the TV after 9:00 you can actually hear the "f" word on free TV.  Not mother "f" though.  I mean, they have to draw the line somewhere and apparently as soon as you bring mom into the equation all bets are off.   It really is funny to be watching a movie where they are readily saying the "f" word and then they bleep "mother*&^%#$".  I watched more than I wanted of a Jim Carrey movie the other day because I just kept laughing at what they were bleeping and what they weren't.

Oh well, the show must go on.  I think I'll go listen to Islands In The Stream now.

Young American, I want the Young American

Why does the United States live in a bubble?

I'll give you some examples.

The U.S. is basically the only country in the world that taxes based on citizenship not on residence. This means that we pay the same amount now then we would if we were still in Nashville.  Yes, we also pay Australian taxes.  Luckily, we can use what we pay in Australian taxes as a deduction but we are still paying in the U.S.  Every expat does this every year.  So even though I'm living in Australia I am literally paying for the right to be called an American.  I will still try not to complain.  Once again people; we have it really good.  Even when you think it's rough.  I saw a stat that blew my mind last week.  If you have a roof over your head, a refrigerator to store food, running water and indoor plumbing, you are richer than 75% of the world's population.  Wow!  Perspective can be so startling sometimes.  But I can't wait to vote.  I think I have to drop off my ballot at the embassy. I hope so because I want to see it.  I'm paying for it after all.

The United States and its associated territories, as well as Jamaica and the Cayman Islands are the only countries in the world that use Fahrenheit.  Celsius is not so hard now that I've been here a while.  0 degrees Celsius is the freezing point of water.  100 degrees Celsius is the boiling point of water.  I use this little ditty to help me with the rest.  "30 is hot, 20 is nice, 10 is cold, 0 is ice", end of story.  I used to think, "why doesn't everyone just use Fahrenheit," but now I'm thinking, "wait a minute, why are we the only country that doesn't use Celsius?"  We DO think we are just better than everyone else.  No wonder why everyone else in the world thinks we act that way.  Oh my gosh, we do.

Countries that use the Fahrenheit temperature scale
Map courtesy of http://9gag.com/

That's not all.  The United States, Myanmar (Burma) and Liberia are the only countries in the world that use the Imperial system and not metric.  Most people these days don't even call it Imperial anymore, they just say "the American" system.  In fact, ask anyone that deals Internationally in business what their favorite conversion app is because they will certainly have an opinion as they have to use it daily.  Not to mention every scientist that has to have both systems in place and mostly use metric anyway.  Metric units of measurement are all based on units of ten.  Obviously arguments can be made on both sides as to which is better because Americans use Imperial, right? Why else would we stick with it?  Right?!

Countries in the world that use Imperial measurements
Map courtesy of http://www.unsoughtinput.com/

My kryptonite is any type of measurements so it doesn't really matter to me either way.  I'm not going to know how long it is, or how much it weighs.  Can I pick it up?  Then it doesn't really matter to me.  But, seriously, why do we make ourselves the odd man out?  If we somehow lose all of our money and relevance and need help we will have put ourselves on an island away from the rest of the world.  How is this a good thing?  If your kid decided to play all different games on the playground and only had friends because they owned the soccer ball, how would you react?  What happens when the soccer ball gets a hole in it?  Do they play by themselves on the seesaw?  Cause I've done that and let me say you definitely need two people for a good teeter-totter.  Otherwise, it's just you jumping up in the air with a giant board beneath you.  No fun.

Once again, I'm not saying these things to bash the United States.  We PAY to remain American after all.  But, looking from the outside it's just disheartening how isolated we have become.  Even our news is filtered and made "American".  Please click here to see the illustrations of the Time Magazine covers in the U.S. v. the rest of the world.  It's not that we are physically so big and demanding.  Look at this link that shows comparisons of our size to other countries of the world.  Trust me, it's fascinating and it really helps when you see them against the perspective of something we know.  We always say, "it's such a big country."  True, but we aren't the only one.  Watch the video too.  It's a clip from West Wing, featuring my favorite TV writer, Aaron Sorkin.  And I'm sure it's biased too, of course everything is, but you might as well get both sides.

I guess my point is that we need to learn to get along better on the play ground.  If our government isn't helping us then we have to do it as individuals, one by one.  Be better Americans!  I know we can do it. I admit I didn't know most of this before I moved here so I thought it might be enlightening to you guys as well.

We live in the age of the Internet.  I know it takes a little more effort but let's try to not let ourselves fall into the rabbit hole of blindly believing the media. Any media. That includes the stuff that riles you up because it falls in line with what you believe.  Get your news from several sources: BBC, Al Jazeera (no, it's not a terrorist organization and wouldn't you want to learn about the Arab world from people who actually live there?) National Geographic,  Sky News, CNN International.  If CNN automatically steers you to the American version check the top of the page.  It gives you the option of "International".  Click and see the different stories.  Watching the news now I can see how biased EVERY news organization is in the U.S.  The difference between CNN for America and CNN International is shocking.  In America, news has become another form of entertainment because they are in the process to make money.  It is not to inform you anymore.  It hasn't been for a long time. Think about how many stories you see that try to scare you or make you mad.  That isn't news, it is editorial.  News is fact not conjecture.  But, we have the Internet and if you use it wisely there are people out there that are trying to inform you.  We can do this!  Don't let yourself fall in the Facebook trap of pictures and stories that make it seem like America is destitute and spinning out of control and you are losing all of your freedoms and our President doesn't care and is trying to do harm and nobody cares and we have no hope.  Every one of us can make it better, every day.  We can do this! Get informed!

On a completely random fun note, I was recently told this story you might like.  You see,  Australians call what we call Jell-o, "jelly".  So, as a young girl, my friend would read the American Girl stories and always wonder what a peanut butter and jelly sandwich tasted like.  So, one day she made one, with Jell-o.  She couldn't figure out why Americans were fascinated with the delicacy until many years later when she realized they were talking about a peanut butter and jam sandwich.  I thought it was hilarious as I pictured her trying to scarf it down.  Now she says she likes them but would still rather have Vegemite.  Crazy Australians!

It's time to Ramble On...Lord of the Rings Wellington-style.

On our first Sunday in New Zealand I made my husband come with me on a Lord of the Ring tour.  If you are in the Wellington area I highly recommend Wellington Rover tours as it was a fun, fact-filled day of LOTR information and fun.  All the cool kids use LOTR for Lord of the Ring, by the way, so that's what I'll do from this point out.

We set out on our trusty steed, Aragorn, aka our tour van for our first stop at Mt. Victoria lookout.  It was super early so I was really hoping that Sean wasn't going to kill me.  Especially as I find out that he has never read the book. "Well, you've seen the movies though, right?"  "Yeah I guess.  They were good," he replies.  After I found a place to sit down and breathe I realize we've never really discussed this.  I'm thinking, 'oh boy are we in for a day'. Luckily, Jack our tour guide and Wellington itself made for an enjoyable day regardless of your Hobbit cross-dressing tendencies.

Miramar in the background

As we get to the incredible landscape lookout of Mt. Victoria one of the other guys taking the tour casually says, "oh yeah, I ran up here today."  Um, did I hear that right?  You ran up here? From your hotel 5 miles from here?  He says, "Yeah, I ended up running 24k today.  Kinda by accident, I got lost."  "Wow, are you training for something," I ask.  "Actually, I'm coming down from a 100k race I just did."  Holy crap.  I've never actually met one of these men in the flesh.  I've only marvelled at their craziness in all of the running magazines I now read faithfully.  So, including our tour guide who is a member of the Tolkien Society, Wellington branch, and me who is genetically predisposed to not be able to do anything halfway, we are officially on a tour of hardcores.  Strap yourself in, Sean.

Mt. Victoria is beautifully located to create 360-degree breathtaking landscapes of Wellington and the surrounding areas.

Wellington CBD from atop Mt. Victoria

Epic New Zealand

That strip of land is where all of the movie magic is made, Miramar

We head to where Peter Jackson shot the first scenes for the movie in the "Outer Shire" on October 11, 1999.  In reality it's located in part of the Wellington greenbelt park that overlooks the city.  It's truly amazing to see the vision a director must have to turn these locations into the places you see in the movie.  Plus, it was super fun seeing that most people were running or walking with their dogs.  Jack brought along an iPad to show us the actual clips that were filmed in the places we were standing.  I have no idea how Jackson kept everything straight in his head.  Between physical locations, CGI, actors being different sizes with different needs, props, I had my head spinning with minute details within minutes.

Jack is pointing out part of the scene

I'm hiding from the Nazgul minus the prop tree and black riders.  But I'm in the exact location where it was filmed.

"Get off the road! Quick!"

I'm pretending to be a scary Black Rider coming from the mist. 

For example, Liv Tyler, Arwen, is afraid of horses.  She tried to overcome it only to have the horse she was to ride nip her on the first day of shooting.  She decided that she couldn't ride so anytime you see her on a horse she is either on a barrel or it's her stunt double.  Did I just ruin the magic?  If so, you should probably stop reading now.  Ian McKellen, Gandalf, has a great respect for horses but also didn't really want to ride them because of an earlier tragedy in his life.  So, it's a stunt double when you see him on Shadowfax.  The only times he is on the horse is when it's at a full stop.

So, you have all of these little things about the actors and then you start messing with locations such as one scene moving back and forth between shooting locations.  You watch the scene and Jack starts pointing out where it was filmed, "Welly, Queenstown, Welly, Digital Stage, Queenstown, Welly", this is all in one 15-second scene mind you.  It immediately made me want to watch the films again because if you didn't think they were good before, wow, they are brilliantly insane!

Now where the other actors all had something they wanted to use "movie magic" on such as horses, swords, makeup, wigs, etc., Viggo Mortensen, Aragorn, didn't use any tricks.  Everyone who worked with him or met him said they have never met an actor like him.  Viggo grew his own hair out, wore real, seriously heavy chain maille, used a real sword not aluminum, and performed all of his own stunts.  When we took the Weta tour, in explaining how Weta had developed a new type of chain maille, he paused to say that we should all revere and give thanks to our true King, Viggo.  Everyone loves him as if he really was Aragorn the character.  In order to look authentically worn-down he would hike in full regalia to the filming locations.  They would put a GPS locator on him and sometimes take a helicopter to get footage of him hiking in remote places.  Plus, they would know where he was if he didn't show up on time. Hardcore.

Speaking of chain maille, Weta had two people work full-time for years to create the suits and it resulted in them not having any fingerprints.  Once again, no fingerprints. They wore them off.  Now they have thankfully grown back but that's crazy.  Apparently Weta is using this as initiation now.  They make everyone who begins working there make chain maille for two weeks.  Nerd hazing.
Check out this video of them making chain maille:

While at the Weta Cave we went on their Window Into Workshop tour.  An actual employee of Weta gives you a quick tour and explanation of how they work at Weta.  It was awesome!  They have tons of props and things for you to look at and feel.  No pictures were allowed as they included things from movies in progress.  They even had two people working on projects in front of us and we were allowed to ask them questions.  I hope they are able to continue this even when their next big project starts.  The next Avatar project is starting soon and rumor has it that a lot of the new Star Wars films will possibly be based there.  Pretty amazing considering that they are thinking of not doing it all at Skywalker Ranch in LA.  It's named 'Skywalker' for a reason...hmm, fascinating what money can do.

Trolls guard the entrance to the Weta Cave

Lurtz!

Sword props in the Weta Cave

Bilbo's feet, the ultimate Five Finger shoe

It's not looking too good for me

We stopped at Scorching Bay for more beautiful views and a great lunch at the Scorch-o-Rama. I had the Salad of Saruman (Spinach and Feta) and Sean had a Bilbo's Little Treat (BLT). It was actually very tasty.  You never know on these tours. Apparently you can usually find celebrities eating here on any given day but it's not hard to see why.  Wellington is a small place. It kind of reminded me of Nashville in that you can see famous people at the hardware store and it's called Tuesday.  People don't seem to care much which adds to why celebrities like living there.

Scorching Bay

We headed out to see more locations and ended up having a cuppa at Rivendell, aka Kaitoke Regional Park.  It's hard to see where they filmed now since all of the sets were removed.  In fact, while filming, they set up a greenhouse and filled it with any plant and underbrush they removed to make the set.  Then after filming they put it all back and it's healthier than ever.  It's a beautiful park set in a thousand-year-old rainforest and they have just recently put up markers in relation to the film.

I'm not excited or anything

This is so you can figure out that it was actually filmed here

One of my nerdly promo shots in the exact spot where Orlando Bloom (Legolas) shot his epic promo poster shot

I have a feeling more of these will start popping up now

Then we drove past a working quarry that served as both Helms Deep and Minas Tirith.  You can't stop because you aren't allowed on the grounds.  Also, the town of Bree is now a primary school so that makes it awkward for photos (we thankfully skipped it on the tour) and Isengard is a disc golf course.  It was kismet as when we were talking about Gandalf a lady on a horse suddenly appears and walks down the same path that Gandalf used.  Jack was speechless and said he'd never seen that happen.

Best disc golf hole ever

Yes...

...I'm a nerd

The path to Isengard

I guess I could superimpose Gandalf and Saruman walking here. That wouldn't be crazy at all.

By the end of the tour we had all come to an agreement that Christopher Lee, Saruman, is either a vampire or the basis for the Dos Equis most interesting man in the world.  Here are a few of the crazy facts that make up Sir Christopher Frank Carandini Lee:

• Related to Ian Felming and Robert E. Lee
• Volunteered to fight for Finland in the Winter War of 1939
• Served in the Royal Air Force and was an intelligence officer during WWII. He was in the British Special Operations Executive or "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare". Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. 


• "I was attached to the SAS from time to time but we are forbidden – former, present, or future – to discuss any specific operations. Let's just say I was in Special Forces and leave it at that. People can read in to that what they like." 


• Just celebrated his 91st birthday by releasing a heavy metal album based on Charlemagne called Charlemagne: The Omens of Death.  This is a part of a trilogy and follows up his 2010 release, Charlemagne: By the Sword and the Cross.  He is also released a heavy metal Christmas album.
• The only person working on LOTR to actually meet J.R.R. Tolkien.  Tolkien told him that he would make the perfect Gandalf.
• He met Rasputin and witnessed the last public guillotine execution in France.
• Has played epic villians Count Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, Francisco Scaramanga, Saruman, and Count Dooku and both Sherlock Holmes and his brother Mycroft.
• He's appeared in more than 250 films and tv productions
• Fluent in French, Italian, English, Spanish and German and can "get along" in Swedish, Russian and Greek
• Was once a scratch golfer and is the only actor that was made a member of the Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers.
• A Commander Brother of the Order of St. John of Jerusalem, the world's oldest order
• Considers his most important point in his career to have been a host of "Saturday Night Live" in 1978 with John Belushi, Dan Ackroyd, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman and Jane Curtin.
• The Carandini family is one of the oldest in Europe and had close connections to Charlemagne and was granted the right to bear the coat of arms of the Holy Roman Empire.
• He is 6'5'' and holds the Guinness World Record for "Tallest Leading Actor"
• Is rumored to be in possession of the Holy Grail, okay, this one is funny but at this point, who knows?
• When filming the scene in which Saruman is stabbed in the back Lee stopped and said, "No, that's not what happens. Have you ever heard the sound a man makes when he's stabbed in the back? I have." And then proceeded to act out what it was like. 
• He has been reading Lord of the Rings every year for over 30 years

And there's much more but instead of inundating you with facts I will leave you with a video of him singing a heavy metal version of "Little Drummer Boy".  And a bonus video of Leonard Nimoy singing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" just for making it to the end of this post!   You're welcome.