Gotta Get Back, do, I do

In an effort to try to remain positive I'm going to spin this next blog into, "Stuff I'm looking forward to," Rather than "Things I won't miss about Australia."  Here it is, ta da!

1. Prices:  If I ever complain about what anything, I mean anything, costs in the United States I hereby grant you permission to slap me in the face.  You may refer back to this statement as proof. 
   
2. Selection:  This can go both ways. While I'm excited to have the endless choices we are afforded in America, from anything such as bread to running shoes to toothpaste, I would be lying if I told you I didn't look at it differently than when I left.  We have too much selection.  I fear it has created a society of people who think that it's their right to have such a selection and complain when they don't. This could spin me on an entirely new post entitled,  rights vs. privileges, why is this so hard to understand?  But, I will save you the rhetoric.  A lot of Americans have turned into whiny, privileged, self-aggrandized brats. Believe me, it's not a great look from the outside. I strive to not let myself become a part of that culture. 
   
3. Sunflower Seeds:  I am grateful to my wonderful friends and family who have kept me in supply with my beloved David Sunflower Seeds while I was here.  Either by airplane or mail, I've had a lot of seeds for a country with none in sight. But, I'm so excited to be able to get in a car and drive to the local store to get them. Seriously, it's embarrassing how excited I am about this. 

   

   Soon, my love, soon.

4. Family (this includes Zoe and Zoom Zoom): This is the number one reason why we aren't staying here for good.  I feel like if we even had one, second cousin, twice-removed, we might entertain the thought. But alas, we do not. My mother is rejoicing. Plus, we really miss our dogs. My daughter and I sit at the park and watch the dogs play.  It's a sad sight and maybe a little creepy. Soon, they will be our dogs we will be watching! 
5. Watching American sports at normal times: I will enjoy not having to wake up at 3am to watch the Tennessee Titans play their fascinating brand of football. Fairly sure that is a form of torture in some cultures, especially the watching the Titans part. 

   

   Actual picture of me watching the Titans.  Really?  Not really.

6. Food:  Weird that this is on both lists, eh?  As much as I love having independent, local shops and restaurants everywhere, there are a few foods from Nashville I've truly been missing.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  But, I'm also looking forward to knowing exactly what stuff is going to taste like.  For some reason, companies here have bought licensing for American products but not the recipes.  That means that I get super excited when I see a product from home only to eat it and be horribly disappointed that it almost tastes like what I remember. It is a very frustrating phenomenon.  

   

   Don't be fooled. These are "Australian" Doritos. 

15 Things I Will Miss About Australia

Well, time has a way of getting away from you.  I took a little break from writing during my pregnancy and just looked up to realize it's been 8 months since I posted anything. Oops!

For those of you that actually follow this blog (thanks Mom) I will attempt to make up for my absence in the next couple of weeks.

First up is 15 THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT AUSTRALIA.  Yes, I just said that I am trying to make up for not writing by giving you a list.  Hey, can you blame me? This writing business is hard yakka!

Coley's "15 Things I Will Miss About Australia":
(not all-inclusive and in no particular order...except for number one)

1. Tim Tams
2. Ginger Beer
3. Carrie Bickmore
4. Rainbow Lorikeets, Cockatoos, Ibis, Parrots, Flying Foxes, actually all Australian birds (even you crazy backwards-speaking Twin Peaks birds). Except for the ones that dive bomb you if you get too close to their nest which they have so elegantly placed above the sidewalk on the way to the bus stop.  Yes, I've actually been hit in the head by a bird. Twice. In the first instance an older lady at the bus stop saw it and told me I should maybe start wearing a helmet. Yes, that's how this situation should be fixed. Thank you for your input.
5. Coffee. Seriously, at least in Melbourne and Sydney, you are never 1km away from a really good cuppa. I fear I have become a coffee snob. Say it ain't so. Damn you, Australia! I'd better still enjoy my 3am-after-gig coffee at Waffle House! 
6. Australian National Anthem.  I actually love this song.  They use the word "girt" and get away with it. Bloody fantastic! Advance Australia fair.
7. Rocket.  It's what they call Arugula.  Or is it what I call Arugula? Yes. 
8. Beets on everything.  My Grandma Flo would be so proud of how many beetroots I've eaten. 
9. Food in general.  We eat way less processed foods and are going to try to continue it when we get back to the States.



I will miss you Kevin Bacon, the pig. 

10. Everything is a question but it rarely needs to be answered.  I am so meta deep right now most of you probably won't even understand my previous statement. Strewth.
11. Bogans. What am I talking about?  We've got good ol' rednecks!  



I'm gettin' a Southern Cross tattoo next, bro!

12. Weather.  One of the benefits of Sydney is that we have what we like to call "Simpsons" skies.  Blue skies with fluffy white clouds where when you look up you can hear the opening of the theme  ♫ The Simpsons ♫ . That is if there are any clouds at all. Blue skies as far as you can see. 
13. Sunsets.  I love a good EO sunset.  That's Eastern Oregon for those of you that aren't as cool as me.  But, living on the 9th floor of a west facing apartment means we get to see incredible red-tinted sunsets every night.  Every single night!  These are actual shots from our balcony.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
14. Sydney Harbour. It's a real life postcard every way you look. 
15. Accents and phrases.  Even though my husband and I like to make fun of the words and phrases we hear on a daily basis I have a feeling this will be one thing I will truly miss.  Let's give you a list within a list of some of my favorite sayings. See if you can figure out what they mean. 

• What's the John Dory?
• Howya travellin'?
• How's it? or How's it goin'?
• Yeah, no. (Both Sean and I use this now. It's insidious.)
• Sweet as. Easy as. Hard as. "Anything" as.  (We actually use this too. It's fun. Try it!)
• Fair dinkum
• Strewth
• Good on ya
• Mad as a cut snake
• Busier than a blue arsed fly
• He spit the dummy
• Pissed as a fart
• Whaddaya reckon?
• You beauty! 

     16.  New Zealand

Just Add Snow!

It's Olympics time again! Hooray!

I am a total sports nerd as many of you know and I absolutely love the Winter Olympics.  I always had this secret dream of becoming a world-class luge star but alas, Vale had no luge course.  Yep, that's definitely the only reason I am not a luger.  I coulda been a contender!

Anyway, I'm very anxious to see what it's like watching the event from a different country's perspective.  This is Channel 10's ad that has been running non-stop for the past two months. I must say that it's rather inspiring.  I know all of the words to the National Anthem now so I'm ready if they win gold.

I'm curious to see what Opening Ceremonies will be like without Bob Costas telling me what I'm supposed to be thinking and feeling at any given moment.  What will it be like without an American slant?  Do the Australians just stop showing the other countries the second they walk in or do they air the entire broadcast?

I will tell you one thing.  Americans missed out on the London Olympics coverage.  If you ask any random person throughout the world what they thought of London 2012 I think the average response would be something like, "London was great, wasn't it? My favorite was the Paralympic games though.  Man, that was fantastic."  Wait a minute, the Paralympic games?  I vaguely remember NBC advertising a recap of those or did I imagine that?  Hold on, you mean to tell me that they broadcast the Paralympic games?  Yes.  And apparently they were almost better received than the regular games.

Hopefully, at some point NBC and Universal Sports will see fit to allow us to see these inspirational games for ourselves one day.  What a concept.   Jacqueline Freney, from Australia, won 8 gold medals at the London Paralympics and was just awarded the Young Australian of the Year.  She says that she just feels normal in the water.  C'mon NBC, don't rob young kids from seeing role models like this.  Heck, don't rob me!   Put emphasis on these games too.

Extreme Makeover: Baby Edition

Wow! Haven't written anything in a really long time.  Sorry about that.  Lots of things happening though.  First and foremost, we are having a baby!  In Australia, they say that I have "fallen pregnant".  Every time I hear this I feel as if I've either contracted some kind of disease that results in me procreating in 9 months or I picture myself falling in an old 80's Life Alert commercial where I can't help myself.  "Help me, I've fallen...and now I'm pregnant."  But, that's what they say so I just go with it and smile.

So, now that I've fallen pregnant I find myself overwhelmed by the choices one has to make during the process.  What stroller?  Do we get a car seat?  What kind? What color?  Are you going to use a pacifier?  Will you lose your mind before or after the baby gets here?  It's kind of maddening.  But here it's also fun because I get to learn yet another entire vocabulary for baby stuff.  Here are a few examples of the Australian/British word and its American equivalent.  They're fair dinkum, waddayareckon?!

• Pram = Stroller
• Dummie = Pacifier
• Car Capsule = Baby Car Seat
• Nappy = Diaper
• Up the Duff = Pregnant
• Bunny Rug = Blanket
• "You want to nurse the baby?" =  "You want to hold the baby?"  
• Mum = Mom,  typically you see/hear "mum and bub" for "mother and baby"

• Terms for a baby/child =  Ankle biter, Bub, Billy lid, Carpet Grub, Kiddiewink, Happy Lil' Vegemite, Nipper, Rugrat, Whippersnipper, Littlie, Sprog, Little bugger

Oh, and the best thing ever, they have paid parental leave here for both parents.  Apparently the United States is the only industrialized nation to not mandate paid leave for mothers of newborns.  Here's a graphic from the Huffington Post so you can visualize our shame.  Cheers!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/04/maternity-leave-paid-parental-leave-_n_2617284.html

You say potato and I say starchy tuberous crop

I'm currently in rehearsals to sing in the performance of Handel's Messiah at the Opera House in Sydney.  I wasn't quite sure how things were going to go but I definitely wasn't expecting what I've experienced so far.  First of all, for some reason I was shocked at how good we were at the first rehearsal.  Most of these ladies have sung here in Sydney for years so I guess they are prepared.  Way to go ladies.  Get your tickets now!

Then the conductor started saying, "crotch-it" and "dotted crotch-it" and "quaver".  At least that's what I heard.  What?  Okay, I just kinda went along with it and focused on the music.  But last week I couldn't take it anymore.  They are definitely saying, "crotch-it" repeatedly.  What is going on?  Thank goodness for Google because I felt stupid to ask as I seemed to be the only one that wasn't in on the joke. It has dropped me down a rabbit hole and led me, (finally!) to one of the only things that Americans do that is more logical than our European counterparts.

In America, we name musical notes in relation to the mathematical equivalent of the time signature. Stay with me non-musical folks and I'll try to break it down for you.  For example,  in a song that is 4/4, that means there are four beats to a measure.  This is what splits everything up and makes it easier to read and play.  This is when you hear people counting; 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4.   If a note fills all four beats it is called a 'whole' note.  2 beats is a 'half' note, 1 beat is a 'quarter' note and so on and so forth.  Likewise, if you want to display a rest, an absence of sound, it is measured accordingly and referred to as a quarter rest or an eighth rest, etc.   Music is math.  It makes sense to break it down and call it by the math equivalent. (Notice I am not pluralizing math into maths.  I find that maddening for some reason.  It's an abbreviation.)

But what do the British and therefore all of their Commonwealth states call them?  Hmmm, well, apparently they have a different name for each and every note and for the life of me I can't figure out why.

Here is a table to show the differences: (please note that each term is for notes and rests)

AMERICAN TERM	BRITISH/AUSTRALIAN TERM
Octuple Whole Note/Rest	Maxima
Quadruple Whole Note	Longa
Double Whole Note	Breve
Whole Note	Semibreve
Half Note	Minim
Quarter Note	Crotchet
Eighth Note	Quaver
Sixteenth Note	Semiquaver
Thirty-second Note	Demisemiquaver
Sixty-fourth Note	Hemidemisemiquaver
Hundred Twenty-eighth Note	Quasihemidemisemiquaver or Semihemidemisemiquaver
Two Hundred Fifty-Sixth Note	Demisemihemidemisemiquaver

Okay, wow is all I have to say.  I have to learn an entirely new language to understand what's going on in rehearsals. That was unexpected!  Luckily, I basically already know what's going on so I just smile and nod and focus like all get out.  I vaguely remember seeing a chapter or two on this in one of my music books at some point.  But it's already hard enough trying to decipher the accent, which by the way varies from British to Australian week to week according to who is conducting us. When people start throwing around "crotch-its" left and right it's hard not to laugh.  Because it gets even better.  You see they call it a crotchet because most of these terms come from the English renaissance and they thought that a quarter note looked like it had a hook.  So naturally they took a French word, crochet, and pronounced it "crotch-it".  Another wow.  

I find this entire thing fascinating and have my mind blown every week now.  Can't wait to see what I learn in rehearsal tonight!  

Completely random post alert!

Things I think are cool about 'Stralia:

• Itemized tax receipts:  If you exchange money with any person or entity there is usually some kind of receipt involved in the transaction.  You can see where your money went and keep it in your records.  One solid thing the Tony Abbott government has brought forward is the issuing of tax receipts.  They will show what you paid and where it went.  Talk about accountability.  USA, take note please.  Now, this hasn't actually been put in practice yet so we haven't seen if it will actually work.  I love the idea though. Plus, the Treasurer's name is Joe Hockey.  Cool name.  Read an article about it here.  

• No pennies:  Yes, there are still things that cost $19.99 but you end up rounding up or down accordingly.  It's really not that big of a deal.  Australia pulled one and two-cent coins from circulation in 1994.  Some of them were melted down to be used in the bronze medals at the 2000 Sydney Olympics.  Still worried about store owners losing money if we eliminate the penny?  Click here to read the results of the effects on Australia by the University of Melbourne.  Basically, you end up breaking even and saving the government money by not producing the coins.  Currently, the U.S. cent costs approximately 2.14 cents to make. While this ends up going down the more the coin is circulated (cause of math and stuff) it still seems like a waste.  Sorry, President Lincoln, at least your face is on the fiver.  Common sense - 1  Penny - 0

You could argue that this is the only Penny we really need, America.

• Opera House:  Picture Sydney in your mind.  You are most likely picturing the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge.  It was even in Finding Nemo for pete's sake.  The icon is celebrating it's 40-year anniversary this year.  40 years. That's it.  Paris; you think Eiffel Tower.  London; Big Ben.  A great city needs a great icon and the Opera House and its crazy architecture seem to fit Sydney perfectly.  I'm so excited to be able to sing there in December.  Stay tuned for some behind the scenes stories.  

• Carrie Bickmore:  I firmly believe that if she cared about conquering the media world, she could.  But, it seems like she is more interested in caring for and providing for her child these days.  Especially after losing her husband to brain cancer a couple of years ago. This is why I love her.  She is one of the hosts of my favorite news show, The Project.  She's been nominated for the Gold Logie the past two years.  The Logies are basically like the Australian version of the Emmy's and the Gold Logie is the Australian Entertainer of the Year.  I guarantee you she will win this one day.  There is just something about her that makes you wish she was your friend.  Being genuine is a hard thing to express through the TV but she's fantastic.  I dare you to not like her. 

Things that totally annoy me to no end:

• TV show teasers:  Obviously this one is for the folks that actually watch TV. Which, in this country, is not a lot.  Just over 23 million people and if you have a program that gets 1 million viewers you are doing well.  Honestly, more people downloaded a pirated copy of the final episode of Breaking Bad.  They actually have a big problem.  Since they can't air shows from America fast enough (their "fast-tracked from the US" usually means at least a week later) they can't keep up with illegal downloading.  People want to watch their favorite shows as soon as they can.  I fall into this category but I have the advantage of having a US address and I use a VPN to watch all of my shows the day after they air on Hulu and Netflix.  Australians just illegally download them. 

For example, a recent episode of Modern Family aired on Channel 10 to 568,000 viewers but it was downloaded approximately 1.75 million times. Hannibal was downloaded 2.1 million times but aired on Channel 7 to only 190,000.   How I Met Your Mother was downloaded 2.85 million times and aired to about 500,000.  The seriously big one is Game of Thrones.  Downloaded 5.2 million times and aired on Foxtel (not free tv) to 224,000 people.  This must drive the channel execs crazy!  I think they take it out on us through their preview advertisements.  Ziva has almost died or left every episode of NCIS so many times that when it actually was the episode she left they played it down.  They would feature her in ads about episodes that weren't even about her.  You see, I'd already seen the episode and I watch the ads with my mouth open saying to Sean, "it's like I haven't even seen it.  I have no idea what they are talking about."  At first,  I would talk back to the TV, "what are you talking about? Ziva isn't even in that episode."  But now I just kinda laugh and go with it.  

Update:  I was apparently wrong about how behind the shows are being run.  It is finally Ziva's last episode this week and that is all they say on the ad, "Prepare for Ziva's Farewell" in big, echo voice.  I don't know what they will do since I just saw a huge billboard for NCIS with Ziva standing in front of Gibbs.  They really love Ziva...

But, bad preview ads are not exclusive to American shows.   Channel 10 caught flak over one of the most popular Australian TV shows, Offspring.  The writers were upset when they revealed in the ad that someone would be dying.  It was a huge deal and was supposed to come as a complete surprise.  But, Channel 10 took the surprise away by giving you three people that might die.  Who could it be?  I actually like this show and it made me mad.  I've only been watching for one season.  Patrick died.  They killed off Patrick?!! Can you imagine how shocking it would be if they didn't tell us somebody was going to die?   I now use it as a verb for when something happens unexpectedly to a main character.  He got "Patricked".  So far no one knows what I'm talking about and that's usually how I like it.  Inside jokes. I loves 'em. 

Seriously, Channel 10?  You should be "Patricked" for this. Patrick is on the right btw.

• Vision:  Speaking of TV they call any kind of video, "vision".  So the above YouTube clips? Yep, vision of Carrie Bickmore.  Not sure why I find this so weird but I do.  It's a video.  Why change the name?  

Safety Old School by Air New Zealand

Oh, how I love New Zealand.  Check out the new safety video by Air New Zealand!  If you click on their website here,  you can enter to win a trip to Queenstown, New Zealand.  Enjoy.